When things aren’t going so good in one area with my life, I tend to throw my energies and frustrations that I would spend on thinking about that thing into other projects. I’ll be honest…bad things happening to me mean good things for my productivity. I don’t know why, but that’s just the way it works.
I’m going to be honest here, because that’s something that’s pretty important to me. I said I would talk about it here on the blog when I was ready, and I’m starting to feel like I am. I had my heart broken last week. Big time. The only thing that kept me from curling into a ball on the couch for most of last week was the outpouring of love I’ve received from my friends and family. That and working on projects for other people. I don’t want to pretend like everything is sunshine and roses all the time with me, because right now it’s a lot of ups and downs.
Break ups happen, it’s a fact of life, but that doesn’t make them any less hard. And this one is really hard. This was my first love. I know long distance is hard, and I really didn’t want that to be the reason we didn’t make it, but it just got to be too hard. It’s the sad truth. He was going to still be in school for a few years and there really wasn’t any end in sight to us living an hour-plus apart from each other. Since my graduation in May, we saw each other exactly twice. That’s something that got to be ridiculously hard on both of us. We kept having the same fight over and over. When you’re not seeing each other fighting can drive you mad.
Thankfully, I’ve been keeping on with lots of things to take up my time. I’m managing a campaign for a local school committee candidate. I’m volunteer-interning at the food bank. I’m babysitting. I’m applying to jobs. I’m seeing my friends a lot. For whatever reason, pouring my energy into those other tasks helps me to keep my mind off things. It helps me stay sane and not wallow as much. I guess I’m just really grateful to have other things to do.